January Jones Sharing NARC.TION.ARY Abuse Dictionary with Tracey Kremble

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The topics and opinions expressed in the
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or comments should be directed to those
show hosts. Thank you for choosing W

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FORCY Radio. Who is January Jones. She is not a young, beautiful,

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talented actress on Madman. She is
not an older, gorgeous exotic dancer

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from The Johnny Carson Show. She
is an author and she wrote Thou Shalt

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Not Y, the Eleventh Commandment,
that reached number one at Amazon dot com.

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She is a reality TV golf personality
with World High Stakes Golf televised on

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hd Net. She is a humorist
and whineologist expert. She is your featured

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host today on January Jones sharing success
stories. So sit back, relax,

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and get ready to laugh and listen
to Miss Jones with her eclectic roster of

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guests as you learn life's lessons.
These stories plus sharing equal success. Welcome

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and remember beware because you are entering
the no whining world of January Jones.

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Hello everyone, I hope you're having
a wonderful day, and I'm January Jones

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and i'd like to welcome you to
our podcast today. As you know,

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my new brand is the Glitter Granny. We all wear many hats in life,

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and as we go through life,
we change our hats often. Today

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I'm wearing my silver interview hat.
The nice thing about hats is you don't

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have to must with your hair.
No for my listeners, let me ask

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you a question. Have you ever
been in an abusive relationship? Tell me

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do you even know what a really
really abusive relationship is? Have you ever

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met someone who has experienced a relationship
with a narcissistic person? I haven't,

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but we're going to today. Can
you imagine what it would be like to

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be abused? How horrible it would
be? Now? Would you like to

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meet someone who will share her own
experience of living with a narcissist and surviving.

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Not only surviving, she's thriving.
Tell me have you ever heard of

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a famous book entitled The courage to
say no, or another amazing new book

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called Narctionary, and I just love
saying that word. If you can answer

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yes or maybe to any of the
questions I'd ask you, then you are

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in the right place and welcome to
January Jones sharing success stories. So now

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it's time relax, Go get some
wine, get some cheese and crackers,

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and join us in the no wine
zone. Now, let me tell you

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a little bit about our guests today. She has thirty years experience in abuse

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recovery, beginning with her own traumatic
journey. She gives voice to crazy making

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behaviors that imprison people in the cycle
of narcissistic abuse. Her Win Foundation and

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Reclaiming Me program leads to the only
cure for narcissistic abuse trauma, and that

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is love, My guests, as
self, love is non negotiable. And

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i'd like to welcome to the show
today, Tracy Crumble. Hi, Tracy,

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Hello, Thank you so much for
having me. Oh, I'm so

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happy to have you on the show. And before we went on the air,

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we discovered that we share a mutual
We both were from the Thousand Oaks

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area and I, yeah, a
small world. I even know where Tracy

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played tennis and all where she went
to high school. It's so good to

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have you, Tracy. Let me
ask you before we begin the podcast.

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How has How did I feel it's
over? How did the pandemic affect your

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career? Well? I think that
it makes you think, which is I

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think such a healthy thing in life
to experience. It makes you think outside

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the box. One of the best
things that came from it is our recovery

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program was always based in a walk
in basis, and the pandemic force has

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to go into online classrooms and we
have been able to reach so many more

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women throughout not just a USA,
but globally who can now participate in recovery

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from the privacy of their own home
or their own phone. So it was

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really it was really it expanded us
in many ways. And I think the

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biggest challenge was all of us having
to get used to losing that one to

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one contact, that hands on contact. But I think that that you know,

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you're an example that you can break
through. You can still have intimacy

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and closeness even if there's a screen
between us. And that's the one thing

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that I learned that it was possible
to continue that intimate feeling of healing even

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though we're in an online classroom.
Yeah, And I think that's one of

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the things. I call it the
pandemic pause, and I think that's one

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of the things that a lot of
people have found. Even though it was

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awful when it began, along the
way, more options became available, and

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people the way they are, they
are adaptable. They adjusted, they made

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changes, take a deep breath and
carry on, which is how you get

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through anything in life. Now,
you've been in the recovery world for almost

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thirty years. It's hard to believe
you look so young. But now,

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how how did your journey begin?
How did you get into this profession.

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I entered this journey and I found
myself living in highly narcissistic relationships because as

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a child, I was raised in
an environment where there was narcissism, So

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the personality trait of a narcissist was
normalized to me. So because it was

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normalized, it took it getting to
extreme levels of dysfunction for me to admit

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this is a very painful environment.
So I think, like a lot of

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people, you were drawn to something
that was familiar and that would probably have

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made you feel comfortable in the beginning. Okay, let's talk again about your

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book, The Courage to Say No. That's an incredibly wonderful, inviting title.

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How did that come about? So
my road to recovery began by it

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began when I found myself in my
mid twenties marrying somebody who became a completely

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different person after we were married,
to the point that they were threatening my

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life, etc. Et cetera.
And so I had to literally run for

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my life and go into hiding.
And the book is called The Courage to

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Say No More. And so what
happened to me is that as I as

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I untangled myself from that, from
all the trauma that happened, And as

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I said, that was like an
inferno of abuse. Because I was raised

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with a low heat under my whole
life, it took extreme situations for me

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to recognize that I was in trouble. So when I left that, I

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did the classic forms of healing when
you're coming out of a covertly abusive relationship.

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Fast forward in my life because because
narcissism and the personality of narcissism was

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at a base level for me,
I could not recognize when this personality would

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re enter my life and especially at
the time January that narcissism and narcissistic abuse,

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trauma, narcissistic abuse, it didn't
have a name. You know,

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they were called a jerk or dysfunctional
or know they're really not that way.

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So I found myself for many,
many years living in highly narcissistic, painful

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relationships without thinking there was something wrong
with me, sending myself into anxiety and

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depression and self doubt and all those
different things. And it wasn't until one

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day I walked into a therapy office. Therapist says, you know, why

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are you here? And my responses
because my brain feels like it's made of

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mush and I feel invisible, and
that was the only way that I could

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describe where I was. And it
took some time, but I just I

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got very lucky and I found somebody
who was on the front end of this.

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And after several like almost a month
or so, she says, I

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think you might be suffering from abuse
with a narcissist. And I'm like,

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what is that? And that's the
game change for me, is that the

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ghosts So the courage to say no
more was my phase one in the first

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part of my healing from healing very
traumatic abuse, and then the second part

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of my recovery came and really specializing
in this thing called narcissistic abuse. That's

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an amazing introduction to our podcast.
Right now, we're going to take a

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break, and if you are a
whiner or you know someone who whines,

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this is the book for you.
Lately, there's a whining epidemic in our

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world. People are even whining about
whining. Are you sick and tired of

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listening to everyone whining all the time? So was January Jones, the author

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of Thou Shalt Not Whine The Eleventh
Commandment that reached number one at Amazon dot

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com. Miss Jones based her book
on our survey of the top ten things

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that people whine about at all ages
and all stages of wine. January is

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a success coach that can tell you
how to help others. When you buy

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Thou Shalt Not Whine, The Eleventh
Commandment, you'll find out what people whine

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about and how to stop them from
whining. This is the perfect gift book

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to give or get for any occasion. Thou Shalt Not Whine was voted the

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best gift to be given anonymously for
those special people in your life. Miss

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Jones is an internationally known author in
the style of Irma Bombeck, specializing in

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housewife huber. With her book being
published in Korea and China. You can

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find Thou Shalt Not Whine at Amazon
dot com. I wanted to mention that

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all of my books are now at
audible dot com and we're back with Tracy

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Kremble, who is not a whiner
because she is a winner. Tracy,

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before we go on, could you
share with our listeners your contact information and

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where they can get your books and
your website. Oh, thank you very

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much. My book is called an
Actionary, my most recent book. It's

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available on Amazon dot com and you
spell it like dictionary, only with narcitionary.

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Very clever. My website is doctor
Tracy dot tv. Okay, you're

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wonderful and abusive narcissists. This is
was a new tune for you, and

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it certainly is a new tune for
me and probably for a lot of our

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listeners. And I'm sure some people
are listening to you, and I'm sure

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some people are identifying with what you're
having to say. Your second book,

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an Auctionary, at which I love
the title. I love saying thank you

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tell us about what prompted you to
write that book. After your second book,

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Well, fast forward, fast forward
many years, and I went from

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being a victim of abuse to becoming
an expert in not just well, I

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became an expert in accepting abuse for
many years, but when I became an

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expert in recovery, that was a
game changer. And I run a recovery

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program. It's called Reclaiming Meet.
It's been going on for twenty years now.

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We meet twice a week in my
Zoom rooms. And what happened was

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I had a newbie contact me,
and of course she had She was on

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the floor with a devastation. The
person that she was with her narcissist up

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and left her, put her out
like a piece of trash. And I

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said to her, that's called the
discard and she said the discard And I

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said, it's what the narcissistas blah
blah blah blah blah. And she says,

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yeah, but I don't understand this
because they would do something wrong and

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then they would apologize, but it
would never heal me, and it didn't

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nothing ever change. I said,
well, that's called a fopology. And

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she's like, what's a popology?
I said, A popology is the false

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apology of the narcissist. And she's
like, oh my gosh. And then

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but I'm just feeling so mushy in
my brain and am I crazy? Because

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you know, we would talk about
things and nothing would ever get resolved.

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And I said, well, that's
probably because they're speaking in word salad.

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And she's like, what's a word
salad? And I said, salad is

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when the narcissist will put so many
words into the conversation that you literally don't

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remember your reference point and what you're
trying to accomplish. And so we kept

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having this conversation and she said to
me, you know, you should really

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write a book that all these terms
are there. So then we knew we

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can just pick it up and understand, you know, rather than diving deep

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into therapy, that we can just
have a quick reference. And what I

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did is I literally opened up my
phone and I had this this file that

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I kept for myself for years,
and I had alphabatized it, and I

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said, I can do that.
So I sat down I just started to

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put it together. I did self
assessment test in there, because you know,

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so many times We're like, does
this happen to me? How much

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does it happen? And when you
can check it off? Yeah? Wow?

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Did you? I mean, who
would think you'd ever be able to

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write a dictionary book. I know
how hard it is to writeice a regular

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book, but I'm sure doing a
dictionary book. What research? You know.

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One of the words that I like
that I had never heard in regards

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to this type of recovery was the
word after shock. Yes, and it's

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real. That's powerful. Now.
What is explained to our listeners about aftershock?

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So aftershock it's a setback in your
recovery. It's when you've been along

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your recovery journey and you feel like
you're doing really, really well, and

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it could be a year, two
years, three years down the road,

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and all of a sudden something will
happen and you find yourself really slipping back,

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are being retraumatized in ways that you
think, oh my gosh, wait

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a minute, I've done my work
in this area. Why am I slipping

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back? Why am I getting so
leveled by this? And that's why it's

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called aftershock because it's the post abuse, partly post recovery that all of a

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sudden something just goes in there and
throws you for a loop. And the

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term comes from actual earthquakes, where
we have the original earthquake that causes all

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the damage, and then when the
earthquake is over, you have all these

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aftershocks that still traumatize and shake you
up. So that's where the where it

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comes from, and it's real and
recovery. Yeah, yeah, and that's

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that's an interesting thing to talk about
because I know so many people think,

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oh, you know, I left, I got rid of them, now

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it's over. But I think as
long as you're in contact with this person,

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they have the ability to still weave
their I don't want to say magic,

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but we've their spell relations. Yes, yeah, it's true that that

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they say that the most effective way
to heal from narcissistic trauma is what's called

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no contact, and no conspect is
exactly what it sounds like. It's no

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contact that's not always realistic for people. And if you find yourself, for

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example, if this is a parent
that you want to somehow remain in relationship

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with, if this is the parent
of your child, if you're co parenting

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together, being completely away from that
person is nearly impossible, and so there

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you know there is contact, but
it will if you don't have what I

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call your emotional fire suit on,
you can easily get burned by them.

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Again. Wow, just sound of
curiosity, because when I was through my

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life, I've always heard the term
when people were acting not quite right,

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we would hear the term bipolar.
Are narcissists do they tend to be bipolar?

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That's a really good question. And
I'll tell you why is. You

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hear the term narcissists thrown around a
lot lately, and you hear as psychopath.

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And there are definitely degrees of narcissism. It's not just clear, you

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know what black or white. It's
a spectrum disorder. So it you know,

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it's not like pregnancy you're just a
little bit narcissistic. You know,

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it's a spectrum disorder. And so
it can go from healthy narcissism right here

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on up the scale to narcissistic characteristics, to narcissistic personality disorder, to antisocial

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personalities and disorder, which is sociopast
psychopath so along that many times people in

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the past would probably call a narcissist
a bipolar by narcissists contend to present themselves

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as bipolar because their personality goes from
zero to one hundred in a second,

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and so they're in a benign state. They don't get their way with something

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and their their personality can do this. This doesn't make them bipolar, This

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makes them manipulative. Bipolar is you
know, we all have this line that

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emotionally that we run in, and
what happens to bipolars is that it could

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be a slow grade up and then
a big crash. You know. The

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narsists are like this to gain control
and to keep people disheveled. Yeah,

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and it seems like narcissists have a
plan where I think sometimes by polar people

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are actually victims of their own disease. And yeah, and I think of

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now that I'm talking to you,
I think of a narcissists as premeditated.

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I told you my favorite word after
shock in your book. What is your

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favorite word? Oh, my goodness, there's so many, but I think

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that the one that that I appreciated
the most along my recovery journey, and

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it's called poop in your soup.
And what it represents is how toxic narcissistic

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abuse is. And narcissistic abuse is
like having poop in your soup, and

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no amounts of poop in your soup
is ever okay. And it was a

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reminder to me to understand that that
you cannot, Tracy can well. You

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cannot allow yourself to even tolerate a
drop of it if you're going to get

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well. It is toxic and it
will make you sick. And so that

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when I laugh at I was able
to laugh. And it's always so good

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when you can reach points of moments
of your healing, when you're able to

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just shake your head and find the
humor or something or the extremity of it

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that doesn't level you. And that
one was kind of a wake up called

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to me where I'm like, Tracy, why is it okay for you to

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dabble with a little poop in your
soup? If somebody offered to serve you

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that in life, you would be
like, absolutely no way. And that's

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a boundary that I needed to learn
with myself. Is no is no,

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and I am not interested. And
you can't convince me to accept more than

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nothing. You know, Yeah,
very good. Right now, we're going

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to take a break. And you
know, it's been sixty years since the

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assassination of John can d and this
book is a theory about who might have

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killed Kennedy. Let me ask you
a question, are you still wondering who

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killed Kennedy? Over fifty years later? The assassination is still a mystery.

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It is unfinished business for our country. Now get ready for a theory that

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you've never heard before, but will
make more sense than any other conspiracy theory

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00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:33.880
that you've ever heard in the past. January Jones speaks the unspeakable in her

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00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:40.400
book Jackie, Ari and jack the
tragic love triangle connecting Jackie and aristotlelone Assis

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romantically prior to JFK's assassination. Did
you know that Ari was Jackie's guest in

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the White House during the JFK funeral. He was the only non family member

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who was invited by Jackie to stay
there during the funeral. Aristotlon Assis was

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one of the wealthiest men in the
world, with the means, the motive,

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and the money to order an assassination
that was the perfect crime of the

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last century. Al R needed class
and Jackie needed cash. They were perfect

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for each other. Now what is
Camelot? It is but another tragic love

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00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:22.079
triangle Jackie, Ari and jack is
available at January Jones dot com, Amazon

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00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:30.960
dot com and audiobooks dot com.
Read by Miss Jones. We're back with

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doctor Tracy Crumble. And believe me, if you want to read about some

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narcissists, go read my Kennedy books. There's quite a few of them in

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there. Tracy, tell me,
are people born with narcissism or does it

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something they're taught? Or how does
this come about in their life? When

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we are not born with narcissism?
To answer your question, we are.

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Narcissists are created. They are created
from a trauma bases. They're normally created

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by another narcissist. And you know, we come into this this existence as

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a blank canvas, and it is
the environment that we're exposed to when we

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are young that paints who we are. Becoming a narcissist is as a child

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who goes into survival mode. And
the interesting thing about it is that you

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know, when many people think of
a narcissist, they think of somebody who's

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very full of themselves. And though
there are different types of narcissists, for

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example, the cerebral and narcissist or
the provert narcissist, et cetera, et

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cetera that actually beneath a shield this
ego present a false facade of a narcissist,

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that you're actually dealing with a very
traumatized person. And can narcissism be

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cured, Well, technically, I
would like to say yes. However,

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in order for somebody to be able
to heal from narcissism, it's no different

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than healing from any type of an
addiction, where you have to have that

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coming to reality moment where you say, I have a problem, I have

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a problem, and my problem is
killing me and other people. And because

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of the dynamics of narcissism, which
is a personality that will not admit that

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they're wrong in anything because it's endful
for them, they're stuck in the cycle

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of living behind that false facade and
executing their maneuvers that they need to protect

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that broken self as well as continue
to fuel their ego. Okay, now,

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earlier you used a term I hadn't
heard before. You talked about healthy

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narcissists. Nice narcissists describe someone like
that, well, we all need Those

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are two different things, so I'll
differentiate them. Healthy narcissism is it belongs

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right here in front of us and
we all need it. And healthy narcissism

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what allows us to keep the good
in and push the bat out that sense

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of self value. This is hey, you know not with me that I

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will not allow that happen. That's
healthy narcissism, unhealthy or a nice narcissist.

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I happen to know this very very
very nice narcissist. He is no

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one that would lash out and hurt
someone, but he is somebody who all

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conversations lead back to self because I
went to the store today and they'll say,

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I went to the store today and
I found this, and I got

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this in it. My child just
did really well in school. My child

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did really well in school. And
I remember when I was young and I

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did well in school. So I
think that those are the nice, nice

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narcissists. That the common thing about
a narcissist is that they just they usurped

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the room and they suck the oxygen
out of the room where there's just no

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space for other people in the conversation. We evolve met people like that,

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and that terms sucked the energy out
of the room really resonates with me through

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my eighty years of my life.
That I can relate to that one.

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So when you were talking about the
nice narcissists, it sounds they're kind of

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like people who are just extremely friendly
and want to be As you said,

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have every conversation get back to them. Both narcissists imagine that a person with

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narcissism is like the way I describe
it, They're like a cell phone battery

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that if they don't constantly get fuel
or charge, they feel like they will

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disappear. They really feel like invisible
people, and so that's why they have

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to talk about themselves. It's a
way of them saying I'm visible, I'm

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visible, I'm visible, I'm visible. Did you see me? Because I

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need to be visible. Now.
When somebody starts to go into being a

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dangerous type of narcissist is when they
will hurt other people. They don't have

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empathy, so it is you know
what. The reason it's called a popology

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is if somebody harms another person,
and on our journey, we will do

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some things that will hurt another person. Those of us who don't have narcissism

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will will say, oh my god, I hurt another person, Oh my

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gosh, or what we're trying to
justify our actions. We know deep inside

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of ourselves. This is your ego
talking, you know, and we're able

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to come to those clarity moments and
then begin to get back on our track.

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Well, narcissist doesn't have that.
When a narcissist apologize, they'll say,

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first off, they don't care how
the other person feels. They don't

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care if they hurt another person,
they care if they're discovered. They don't

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want that. Yeah, but their
only goal is to get fuel from other

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people, reaction from other people,
praise from other people, or if they're

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bullies, tears and angle other people. Also they enjoy doing Oh wow,

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they enjoy as you're saying that,
people are flashing through my braining and I'm

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identifying different people that I wouldn't have
called a narcissist, but now that I

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think about it, they most probably
were important to note that that all of

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us can walk off the straight and
narrow line and have a moment when we

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behave narcissistically. Those of us who
don't have narcissism, I would say that

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our ego gets in our way and
we go like, oh, I don't

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want to be that person, you
know, like oh, that was ugly

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of me. So we can all
like dabble in it, But somebody who

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actually has the high narcissistic characteristics or
narcissistic personality disorder, they're somebody who's baseline

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personality is firing like this the majority
of the time. Yeah. Wow,

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that's a talk about a dictionary narctionary. You're doing quite a job here on

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00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:38.640
this podcast. I'm learning so much
from you. Does a person have to

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be leave a relationship if you're in
a relationship with a narcissist. I mean,

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I'm sure it would help to leave, But as you said earlier,

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what do you do when you can't
leave? If it's a family member that

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you know you need to continue a
relationship for the sake of your children.

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Well, that was one of the
crustrating That was one of the frustrating things

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for me for a long time.
Is that the advice that I was given.

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Can you hear me, yes,
yeah, yeah, The advice that

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I was given was you need to
leave, you need to leave, you

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need to leave. Well, I
wasn't in the financial position to leave.

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I was I was annihilated as a
sense of self, so I didn't have

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the self esteem to leave. So
how I have set up my company is

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at my company that our outreach,
our recovery program is it is none of

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our business. If you choose to
stay or leave, it is none of

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our business. What matters is that
we have to get certain tools and healing

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into your soul so that if you
choose to stay or you're in a situation

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where no contact is not an option. My module has six different modules.

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My recovery program has six different modules
to it, and one of the modules

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is when no content tect is not
an option living with an arcissist, And

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I think that that's more reality based
and our whole goal is not to tell

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a person to leave our stay.
Of course, if you're away from any

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type of trauma, you're going to
heal faster. But there are still ways,

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as I wanted, to hold on
to yourself when you're with a narcissist,

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and that's one of the goals of
healing. It's hold on to self,

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to not let them interp you and
and you know mind snatch you and

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body snatch you and identity snatch you
and all these things that they do for

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well, you know, you're saying
they need to learn how to protect themselves

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and themselves and to hold onto themselves
because we get in the habit of sacrificing

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ourselves or the narcissist, and at
the end of the day, we're actually

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sacrificing ourselves to maintain our peace.
So there's way to hold onto yourself without

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engaging in the narcissist. And if
you're in a relationship and not in the

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position to leave, then that's what
you need to do. You need to

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have your own survival skills and protection
skills and fire suit that I mentioned earlier.

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If you're going to stay with the
flame right well, right now,

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00:33:17.839 --> 00:33:22.400
we're going to take a break.
And I've written two books about people who

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00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:30.799
definitely are not narcissists. They are
all priceless personalities. Have you ever met

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00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:36.680
someone who was unforgettable, someone who
has touched your heart and soul, People

374
00:33:36.839 --> 00:33:42.799
who have faced difficult problems, people
who have struggled to find solutions, People

375
00:33:42.920 --> 00:33:47.440
who fearlessly shared their stories, people
who have not only informed you, but

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00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:53.519
inspired you. People who have priceless
personalities. I have been fortunate to host

377
00:33:53.559 --> 00:33:59.920
an internet radio talk show called January
John sharing success stories, and it is

378
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:05.400
spend my privilege to interview hundreds of
guests. My guests have shared their stories,

379
00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:08.840
their struggles, their secrets, and
their successes in their own words.

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00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:15.159
In this book, we're talking about
people dealing with problems such as incest,

381
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:22.440
molestation, runaway kids, child abuse, drug abuse, polygamy, unemployment,

382
00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:28.360
scandal, and starting over. Then
there are my guests dealing with difficult physical

383
00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:32.920
struggles such as blindness, cancer,
and birth defects that are beyond traumatic.

384
00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:38.440
My guests have all been exciting,
eclectic, and energizing. They have amazed,

385
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:44.119
amused, and even astonished me.
I have adored getting to meet them,

386
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:50.360
and I adore sharing them with you. Attention all listeners. Priceless Personalities

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00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:55.400
success Stories shared by January Jones,
Volume two is now available at Amazon dot

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00:34:55.440 --> 00:35:00.639
Com in paperback and kindle editions.
You'll be able to meet ten amazing people

389
00:35:00.679 --> 00:35:06.239
who will be sharing their own personal
stories with all their struggles, successes and

390
00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:12.400
solutions sprinkled with lots of humor and
hope. Priceless Personalities features a teenager who

391
00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:15.480
becomes one of the famous supremes from
Motown, a nurse who as a humorist,

392
00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:21.800
helps people to heal, an inspiring
after yoga instructor, a mother dealing

393
00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:25.159
with the loss of a child,
an incredible motivational speaker, a woman who

394
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:30.760
married five times, a gifted paranormal
nurse, a wise economist, a funny

395
00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:36.960
female humorist, along with an older
man sharing his sweet childhood in the Deep

396
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:42.440
South. January's guest are all amazing
and amusing. You will never forget meeting

397
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:47.719
them. Go to Amazon dot com
for your own priceless experience. Welcome back

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00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:53.119
with our own priceless personality today,
Tracy, Doctor Tracy Cremble. You know,

399
00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:57.679
Tracy, one of my daughters is
a therapist and I'm definitely going to

400
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:06.440
get your book for her. Let's
talk about what CPTSD is and how does

401
00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:12.800
that different from the PTSD that we're
all familiar with. It's one of the

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00:36:13.079 --> 00:36:20.920
big misdiagnoses that many people coming out
with narcissistic abuse trauma face and what it

403
00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:25.840
is is that and it happened to
me. I was in recovery and I

404
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:30.119
was diagnosed with PTSD, and I
did the recovery for PTSD, but I

405
00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:36.039
didn't fully recover, and of course
I made some steps and changes and it

406
00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:42.920
wasn't until CPTSD came onto the market
with recovery and I was treated for CPTSD

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00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:46.840
and then I became really passionate about
making sure that recovery victims get this area.

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00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:53.679
So when somebody is faced with CPT
with PTSD, and I have a

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family friend who, for example,
was at the Las Vegas shootings, and

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she has very bad PTSD, and
when you when she goes into her side

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00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:12.440
effects of PTSD, the fear of
the anxiety, the mind raising, et

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00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:15.400
cetera, et cetera, she's able
to ground herself because she's able to say,

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Okay, I'm feeling this way because
I was shot at on this day

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00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:25.440
at this time. I don't like
Las Vegas because it reminds me of this

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00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:30.559
trauma, and it's you're able to
take that trauma and at least put some

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00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:35.400
boundaries around it. Not what happened, but you're able to grieve within this

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00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:42.920
box well. Because narcissistic abuse has
so many ghosts, ie, for example,

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00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:46.440
gaslighting, when somebody is trying to
make you, trying to make you

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00:37:46.519 --> 00:37:54.719
doubt your own truth, the mind
manipulations that take place, the many many

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00:37:54.800 --> 00:38:01.039
violations of trust that take place,
that if a narcissist were to come up

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00:38:01.079 --> 00:38:04.480
to you and to say, well, exactly what did I do wrong?

422
00:38:04.840 --> 00:38:08.079
There's a really good chance that the
victim of narcissism wouldn't be able to say,

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00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:13.320
well, on this day, at
this time, you did this because

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00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:17.880
you're bombed with so many aspects of
it. For example, even love bombing,

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00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:22.719
that when a narcissist love bombs you
rather than loves you, this creates

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00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:28.199
the trauma. Well, if you
have been loved bombed five hundred times in

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00:38:28.199 --> 00:38:32.800
your relationship, you can't put it
in a box and properly heal. And

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00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:37.239
then you add to it that every
time somebody goes through a trauma with a

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00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:43.719
narcissist, our bodies are kids by
nature, blanket out. So you're not

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00:38:43.800 --> 00:38:50.800
able to heal because you can't recall
the trauma. And so CPTSD is about

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00:38:50.920 --> 00:38:57.679
going in there and helping you take
collectively the traumas that you've experienced and say

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00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:00.920
rather than say, okay, on
this day, this and this and this

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00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:05.280
was done to you, it instead
allows you to say, I experience something

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00:39:05.320 --> 00:39:09.119
called gas sighting where somebody constantly made
me doubt my truth, and the side

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00:39:09.159 --> 00:39:15.199
effect I mean not doubting my truth
is ABCDE. So we're able to take

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00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:21.159
that which is out here and collectively
bring it together CPTSD stands for complex post

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00:39:21.239 --> 00:39:25.519
trauma stressed to sort. So what
you're doing with your wonderful book because you're

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00:39:25.559 --> 00:39:34.639
helping people give a name to what
happened and then go on to the next

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00:39:34.679 --> 00:39:40.239
step where they're trying to figure out
how to heal. That's fascinating that people

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00:39:42.400 --> 00:39:46.280
don't remember, because I always would
think you would hold that trauma very close.

441
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:51.239
But I guess if you don't want
to face it, that's what happens,

442
00:39:51.320 --> 00:39:57.519
doesn't it. Well, it's also
it's covert abuse, so it's not

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00:39:57.599 --> 00:40:01.679
like they come up and slap you
in the face. Yeah, it's they'll

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00:40:01.719 --> 00:40:07.280
they just they play with your mind. And I always say that, you

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00:40:07.320 --> 00:40:15.599
know, we don't we don't have
physical bruises, but we do have a

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00:40:15.679 --> 00:40:20.679
broken heart and a stabbed soul,
and those are much more difficult to heal

447
00:40:20.719 --> 00:40:24.599
because the body is resilient and the
body heals, but the system requires a

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00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:30.039
very special journey to the inner trains
to discover the individual traumas that everybody's been

449
00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:36.840
through. I've never heard that term
stabbed soul. I think that's wonderful,

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00:40:37.159 --> 00:40:42.559
wonderful description of what people go through. Now you state that self love is

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00:40:42.840 --> 00:40:49.760
non negotiable, and I agree with
you. That's a very powerful statement.

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00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:54.039
Could you elaborate a little bit on
that? Absolutely. So, when I

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00:40:54.119 --> 00:41:00.840
was in my scovery, I learned
a very thing about narcissism and about myself,

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00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:07.400
and that there's healthy narcissism, there's
narcissistic characteristics, there's narcissistic personality disorder,

455
00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:14.079
there's there's an antisocial personality disorder,
sociopath, psychopath. Well, what

456
00:41:14.239 --> 00:41:17.800
nobody was ever talking about is is
as this is a spectrum disorder, what's

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00:41:17.840 --> 00:41:22.480
on the other side of the spectrum, And what research unfolded is that at

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00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:28.960
the opposite end of narcissism over here
is a condition called self love deficiency disorder.

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00:41:29.679 --> 00:41:35.039
Now, the art way that a
narcissistic relationship can remain standing is a

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00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:40.719
narcissistic plus a narcissist, a narcissist
with a self deprecate, and then they

461
00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:46.519
become part of the same different sides
of the same coin. So I and

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00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:52.400
all self deprecates are what I like
to call wounded and paths. They're amazing,

463
00:41:52.480 --> 00:41:59.039
beautiful people that have experienced trauma and
give and want to rescue the world.

464
00:41:59.079 --> 00:42:04.159
And if they're feel instead of thinkers
and so long story short along my

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00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:08.400
journey. I one day when I
learned this, I had a very clear

466
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:14.800
thought, and I said, what
if I stopped focusing on narcissism, like

467
00:42:14.920 --> 00:42:15.960
what is it? And how is
it? And how do I change them?

468
00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:20.159
And how do I control it?
And all those things? And I

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00:42:20.239 --> 00:42:24.960
instead made the choice to focus on
myself love deficiency disorder, what would happen?

470
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:29.960
And so that's what I did.
I simply began, I would look

471
00:42:29.960 --> 00:42:36.159
at, Okay, if this person
is gas sighting me, why do I

472
00:42:36.239 --> 00:42:40.159
release my truth? Why do I
continue to listen? Rather than saying this

473
00:42:40.199 --> 00:42:44.840
person needs to stop gas sighting me, I instead took my power back and

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00:42:44.880 --> 00:42:49.119
said, wait a minute. I
can't control them from gas slighting, but

475
00:42:49.239 --> 00:42:53.079
I can't control myself from giving away
my truth, from engaging in a conversation

476
00:42:53.119 --> 00:42:59.199
when I feel myself deteriorating or doubting
myself, from walking away, from not

477
00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:06.039
responding. So I began this amazing, amazing journey where I just began focusing

478
00:43:06.079 --> 00:43:09.960
on my self love. And my
entire program now is built on the journey

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00:43:09.960 --> 00:43:15.719
from narcissistic abuse to self love.
And I gotful download one day in my

480
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:22.679
prior meditation time where I saw a
boardwalk and oh, I'm so sorry,

481
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:29.280
sweetie, but we were almost at
the Okay, you know what this means,

482
00:43:29.320 --> 00:43:34.159
I'm going to have to invite you
back. Thank you for coming and

483
00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:37.880
visiting with us. We've learned so
much from you. Next Tuesday, we're

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00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:43.239
going to learn more from my guest
Karen Pudetti. She wrote a book called

485
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:47.000
Rags, Two Riches, the Beauty
Icons and How they made it, so

486
00:43:47.079 --> 00:43:52.719
she'll be sharing that with us.
My eighty year old thought for the day

487
00:43:52.039 --> 00:43:57.519
is that when you are aged thirty, you worry about what other people think

488
00:43:57.559 --> 00:44:01.360
about you. When you are fifth, you don't care what they think.

489
00:44:02.239 --> 00:44:08.639
Then guess what, when you're eighty
you discover that nobody's even thinking about Joey

490
00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:15.679
anymore. So there you go.
I'm signing off as the Glitter Granny and

491
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:22.519
thank you so much for coming into
our no Wine zone. Remember to keep

492
00:44:22.559 --> 00:44:28.679
smiling and definitely stop whining. And
if that doesn't work, then you can

493
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:34.679
start eating chocolate, lots and lots
of chocolate. Thank you for coming to

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00:44:34.679 --> 00:44:38.280
our show today and goodbye. Tracy's
so nice to have you with us.

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00:44:43.800 --> 00:44:49.400
We want to thank you for listening
to January Jones sharing success stories. Always

496
00:44:49.400 --> 00:44:52.559
remember Miss Jones personal mantra, if
you can think it, you can do

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00:44:52.679 --> 00:44:55.880
it. That's what all of our
guests have done with their lives, and

498
00:44:57.079 --> 00:45:00.880
so can you. You are the
ultimate success coach in your own life.

499
00:45:00.239 --> 00:45:04.760
All you need to do will be
to start sharing your own story with your

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00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:08.239
family and friends. We hope that
our guest stories will encourage you to explore

501
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:14.800
an equation in your future that will
combine your creativity plus connecting with others will

502
00:45:14.880 --> 00:45:20.199
enable you to be successful too.
Always remembered, your passion plus your purpose

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00:45:20.440 --> 00:45:25.639
will equal prosperity as you explore the
wonderful world of January Janes